4th Feb 2019 – My week didn’t start out quite as positive as I was hoping it would. I didn’t sleep well and called Peter Mac in the morning to ask about my shoulder and abdominal pain as it had got worse again. They advised to take some more panadol and asked me to come into the hospital at 1pm to speak to the ‘chemo doctor’ about my pain. They stocked me up on more panadol & endone but suggested I only have panadol every 8 hrs and to try and avoid endone unless I really needed it. They also gave me some ‘anti-constipation’ tablets and electrolytes as they thought this could be contributing to the pain. *DISCLAIMER* I’m not usually one to talk openly about my bowel movements, but for the purpose of this blog I feel it is a necessary part of the process and it will feature quite a lot over the next few days. Exciting reading ahead for some of my guy friends who regularly talk about their poo’s! Anyway… we get home from the hospital and I get ready to take my new anti-constipation medication, then, before I could even take it, I’m in the toilet doing a normal poo! Even the doctors couldn’t have planned it that well 😂 I took my next dose of panadol a few hours before bed but still had to take an endone around midnight as the pain was stopping me from getting into a comfortable sleeping position and therefore keeping me awake most of the night. I had been a bit grumpy all day but feel that it’s allowed when I’ve got pain – sorry Anthony!

5th Feb 2019 – Unfortunately I woke up feeling pretty similar to yesterday morning, but with an added sore back because I couldn’t change my sleeping position all night 😢 The Peter Mac At Home nurse came to change my PICC dressing for me and said it all looked really good. My stomach pain calmed down quite a bit but my shoulder and back was still sore so I went to see Mel – my myotherapist – to try and release some of the tension. It’s a bit tough to work on my back while sitting up but since I can’t lie on my stomach at all that was the only option. If nothing else comes from the session, at least I left feeling relaxed! I ended up having a 45min nap in the arvo which was nice 😊 My bowels seemed to be working well as I’d been a couple of times during the day! Anthony wanted to get me out of the house so we decided to go to Taco Bills for dinner with our mums! It was really nice to go out for a ‘normal’ dinner. That was, until I had to go to the bathroom twice in 10mins at the restaurant. When I was on my way to the bathroom for the second time, I let Anthony know it was time to go home as I wasn’t sure how long this poopy pants could stay out and about without actually pooing her pants 😂 PS. I did not end up pooing my pants!

6th Feb 2019 – Woke up the same as the last few days. Didn’t sleep very well and had to go to the toilet a few times. Took a gastro-stop in the morning which did it’s job! Just so annoying going from one extreme to the other. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I’d leave the house today. The pain in my abdomen was really bad even though my shoulder and back pain had calmed down quite a bit. As long as I sat in a particular position I wasn’t in pain. So I was thinking, I’ll just sit here all day and then it won’t hurt… For those of you that have seen me recently, you know that I haven’t washed my hair in who knows how long and I already had an appointment to go get it washed and blow waved today. So off I went to the hairdressers. It’s amazing how much my mood lifted just by having my hair done and feeling pampered for 45mins! I tried to go for a little walk towards home to meet Anthony along the way but my side was still giving me a lot of grief. I was walking sooooo slow and kept having to stop every couple of metres. The best way I can explain the pain I felt in my side is like the worst stitch ever. I had taken panadol this morning and then endone too since the side pain didn’t calm down.

I went into work today for the first time since before Christmas! I was a little bit nervous going in but we hugged, cried and laughed and by the end it was just like a normal lunchtime at work! I still don’t really know what I can do work wise. I’d like to see if my body gets into any sort of routine before committing to working certain days/times. My side pain came back once I got up and about again so went home and found myself a comfy spot on the couch! I was extremely tired, but it was too late to have a nap so I tried to keep my eyes open as long as I could 😴 I didn’t have much of an appetite today which Anthony wasn’t happy about. He did try his best to get me to eat but I just got grumpy with him for hassling me. Then I felt bad for getting grumpy because I know he is just trying to do the best thing for me. And that’s why I love him ❤