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#32 – Not again…

How much can change in a year? In 2020, it seems like we aren’t guaranteed anything. Normality, stability, and even the ability to see our friends and family whenever we please. One of the things getting me through these past 12 months has been knowing that I’ve been cancer free! It was a wonderful feeling. Until it wasn’t… I started noticing changes within my body. I questioned them with my doctor and oncologists. I went to a naturopath to see if my diet was the cause of these changes. I then changed my diet and added in supplements and vitamins to help “fix” my body. But something still didn’t feel right…

I had cancer again.

In early November, my GP referred me for a pelvic ultrasound and the technician said it looked like I had a large cyst. I was relieved – cysts are common and easily removed. Then my oncologist called me the following day to say they were worried it was more than a cyst as it looked quite “suspicious”. He moved forward my PET scan by a week and added in a CT scan also. Now I was worried. I was lucky that I didn’t have to wait more than 24hrs for my results but from the scans, the team still weren’t 100% sure what it was. The most likely scenario is that it was a Krukenberg tumor (A bowel cancer recurrence). Second option was that it could be a whole new cancer – Ovarian cancer – as it was in/on my ovary. The third option, and the one most voted for by my family, was that it was just a cyst! There was a 1% chance of it being option number three, but I’ve been that 1% many times before in this cAnCeR jOuRnEy so anything is possible. So we spent the next few days praying it was just that and waiting (not so) patiently for the definitive results. The Peter Mac bowel & gynae surgery teams were discussing my case and on the 20th November I was told by my oncologist that I had cancer again.

The bowel surgery team were confident it was a Krukenberg tumor – one that metastasized from my bowel cancer into my ovary. Yet, the gynae surgery team said it looked like it was ovarian cancer. A whole new second cancer. To me, it didn’t really matter what type of cancer it was – any cancer was bad. But this time around, while obviously upset and devastated, I was quite calm about it all. I’d been told that I would be having it removed via surgery and that due to how aggressive it was, surgery would be within a month. So now began the process of extra appointments and blood tests while waiting for a surgery date. Peter Mac were fully booked for surgery spots but the gynae surgeon there also works for The Women’s so they informed me that the surgery would be done there. I wasn’t entirely happy about this, as my previous interactions with this hospital haven’t been good. Lots of cancelling and rescheduling appointments last minute… But the surgeon I saw to discuss surgery was SO lovely! She acknowledged the two hour wait I’d just had to see her and made me feel much more relaxed about surgery and reassured me that my surgery would go well. We wouldn’t know the exact type of cancer until after it’s removed, but I just felt really grateful that this time around, it could be cut out with surgery and I didn’t have to rely purely on chemo to get rid of it!

In the lead up to my surgery, I decided that since borders were now open, it was the perfect time to head up to Sydney to see my beautiful bestie and meet her little bub before I’m out of action for a while… And it was the best thing! We spent 10 days up there, pretending that I don’t have cancer, hanging out and getting all the cuddles I could from Buddy 🥰 And my “prehab” started off strong with holding him and lots of walking every day!

On our way home from Sydney I received a call to tell me my surgery date would be Friday 18th December. So I got myself ready – exercising nearly every day, trying to eat healthier, cleaning up the house, wrapping my Christmas presents and decorating the tree! We caught up with some friends, enjoyed the beach when the weather was lovely and headed up to Melbourne the day before surgery to avoid a 4am alarm! We went out for dinner with our family the night before surgery and it was so lovely to enjoy each others company – especially since we haven’t all been together in so long! As I got into bed that night, I got a notification on my phone from a group chat with our closest friends. Everyone had sent me video messages wishing me luck and a speedy recovery 😭 It was the most thoughtful thing! We are so lucky to have such amazing friends in our lives 💗 Along with those videos, there was one more… It was a personalised video from Kevin Dillon who played ‘Drama’ on the tv show Entourage! So cool!! How did our friends even think of organising that for us!?!

Surgery day… I barely slept and was up at 5.30am to be at the hospital by 6.45am, as I was first on the list for the day! Anthony wasn’t allowed to come in with me due to covid rules so I sat there by myself waiting to be admitted. I took a couple of obligatory pre-surgery selfies and spoke to the doctors before going in to the operating room. I had made sure I asked the doctor to take a photo of my tumor as Anthony had requested this 🤦‍♀️ I remember the nurse and anaesthetist being really lovely and talking to me about how beautiful the beach is in Rye, before being put under. Next thing I know, I’m waking up in the recovery ward. Surgery went for about 2hours and was 5 incisions via keyhole surgery. I was pretty sore when I woke up, but slept on and off for the next couple of hours (I think!). I had my drain tube removed around 2pm which really hurt, and then they sat me up in bed a little bit. It felt quite quick to sit up and within 5mins I asked to lay down again as I was feeling nauseous. Well, another 5 mins later and I reflexively sat up quickly and vomited 🤮 It hurt. My incision in my lower abdomen and my throat were really sore for a few hours after that. I tried to eat but couldn’t even stomach half a cracker. The only thing I managed was a few plain chips and some apple juice. I was still feeling nauseous but had maxed out my nausea medications and had the strongest ones available to me. I was told if I was able to go to the bathroom then I was going to be discharged, so they pushed me to be able to go, and I did. But when I moved to the discharge area, I vomited again, this time much more than the previous time 😖 I felt like I wanted to stay in the hospital but they couldn’t do anything else for me. I couldn’t have any more pain or nausea medication so Anthony came up to collect me. I was really unhappy with the hospital as they had called Anthony at 11am to let him know I should be discharged around midday. So he came into the hospital car park and sat there waiting ALL DAY for a call to come to collect me. I didn’t leave the hospital until 7pm! But as soon as I got out of the hospital and some fresh air on my face, I felt MUCH better. I made it home to mum’s house and got as comfortable as possible in bed. It was a struggle to sleep that night and I needed Anthony to help me get in and out of bed whenever I needed to go to the bathroom. We drove home to Rye the next night and I’ve been recovering here since. Each day the pain is less and I’ve been focusing on increasing my step count every day too. Two days after surgery, my fitbit told me I’d done 114 steps! I did more than that, but was so slow that clearly it didn’t register 😂 5 days post surgery and I did 2700 steps! Onwards and upwards from here!

This has been a long update, but plenty has happened since my last blog and I wanted to let you all know. So I’ll leave you with a few tips! Know your body and see a doctor if something isn’t right. Health is the most important thing in your life. So this Christmas, be present, hug your loved ones and enjoy the time with them, because you never know what’s around the corner. I know I’ll be hugging all my family tighter when my sore tummy allows it!

Finally, to my husband Anthony, thank you for being the most amazing husband. No one should have to deal with what you have, but you’ve been my biggest supporter and I couldn’t love you more 💕