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Chapter 1: My Rockstar Life

Written in 2020 by Keely Marinaccio

One thing I didn’t mention when I started this blog was the fact that I was actually pregnant at the time of my cancer diagnosis. It was too difficult and too raw to talk about it at the time. It was hard enough being told “You have cancer” without adding in, “We recommend terminating your pregnancy.” Safe to say, those few weeks in January 2019 were the hardest of my life. My cancer had spread so quickly that if I had waited the 6 months to give birth before starting chemo, I most likely wouldn’t have made it to that point anyway 😢 It was the hardest decision we have ever made, but I know that it really was the only choice we had.

Chapter 1: My Rockstar Life

Two thousand and eighteen was my year. People at work were calling me a Rockstar because of all the overseas holidays I had planned and the amount of flights I was going to do just in that year. Twenty-six flights in total and I loved every minute of it! We went to four destination weddings that year which included my best friend’s wedding in Thailand and our very own wedding in Key West, Florida, USA. My husband Anthony and I absolutely love travelling and exploring new places around the world, so it was amazing to go to the Philippines, Kuala Lumpur, Thailand, Singapore, Bali, America and Spain all within 12 months. Safe to say 2018 was possibly the best year of my life so far. With 2020 going the way it is due to coronavirus, I am extra thankful to have done so much overseas travel over the past fifteen years.

Anthony and I met at high school and started dating when we were just 14 years old (high school sweethearts!). We both loved travelling a lot so once we turned eighteen, we started going to Queensland for long weekends, as well as going on some interstate trips with friends to various parts of Australia. I enjoyed travelling around Australia and seeing what is in our backyard and that is what sparked my joy for overseas travel. In 2016, Anthony and I surprised some of our friends by joining them on their holiday in America. They had no idea we were heading over there, and it was pure shock when they saw us at a soccer match in Los Angeles! We had such a fun time with them all and exploring new cities. Anthony and I had been together for sixteen years when we went on that holiday and in the back of my mind, I kept wondering if he was going to pop the big question during our holiday. We booked a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon and when Anthony was feeling nervous while waiting to board, I thought to myself “Maybe he’s going to propose when we land in the Grand Canyon!”. Well that did not happen, and I didn’t think about a proposal again for the rest of the holiday. So, you can imagine my surprise when it happened just over a week later. On the 17^th June we were in Key West, Florida – just the two of us – and had had the best day of the entire trip! We went on a jet ski tour of the island and followed that up with a bar crawl around the town, drinking every key lime flavoured cocktail there was on offer! That night we had seafood and more cocktails onboard a catamaran and saw the most beautiful sunset. Walking back to the hotel afterwards, I clearly remember saying to Anthony, “What a wonderful day!”. Little did I know, the best was yet to come. We got into our hotel room and as I sat myself down on the end of the bed to rest my tired legs, Anthony was there on one knee. He asked me to marry him and I of course said yes and proceeded to cry tears of pure happiness! It is one of my favourite memories and one I can recall so clearly. We waited until we got home to Australia a few days later to announce the news to our families in person. As you can imagine, after waiting for sixteen years, our family and friends were overjoyed with the news of our engagement!

On June 17^th, 2018, in front of thirty of our closest family & friends, we were married in Key West, Florida. We decided to go back to the spot where it all happened and since I had always wanted to elope, we compromised with an intimate destination wedding. It was so amazing to show everyone around the island town and for them to all see why we fell in love with it two years prior. We had planned to return on June 17^th, 2020 for our 2^nd wedding anniversary, but covid-19 had other plans for us…

Our wedding day was wonderful and after a cruise around the Caribbean with some of our friends and family, we jetted off to Spain for our honeymoon. It was the trip of a lifetime and I had even learnt enough Spanish to get us around the towns quite easily! We finally returned to Australia in late July and by August we were back into work again and dreaming of our next holiday. (Which wasn’t far away at all – it was another overseas trip to Bali in October!). I was working full time as a Reception Co-ordinator at a swim school and Anthony was building commercial factories – and our new house on top of that! We spent the next few months almost living completely separately. Anthony was working and living down in Rye ninety percent of the time, while I managed to do thirty-eight hours a week at work between Monday and Thursday’s so I could head down to Rye and spend long weekends with him. It was a good system but did get a little tiring for us having to drive backwards and forwards all the time. Plus, I didn’t love having to clean two houses, one was enough of a struggle! The next couple of months went by quickly and next thing we know we are driving back to the airport, ready to board a flight to Bali, Indonesia! We had an amazing time in Bali for our friend’s wedding. We ate great food, drank SO many cocktails, danced and explored the island. I especially loved getting up every morning to my freshly cooked breakfast, having a dip in our private pool and spending the next hour or so relaxing, reading a book and soaking up the sunshine. It was heaven! Little did I know at the time, that would be our last overseas holiday for quite a while…

After we returned home from Bali in mid-October, I wasn’t feeling one hundred percent. I felt like I was coming down with a cold – which is common for me when returning from an overseas holiday, especially with the change in climate and adjusting to any time difference. After a week of not feeling my best, I went to the doctor to get checked out. While there, I mentioned to the doctor that Anthony and I had recently got married and were trying to start our family. I had gone off the contraceptive pill back in July and by the end of October I had not had a period yet. I put that down to my body still adjusting to coming off the pill as I had been on it for quite a long time. Although initially I thought I may be pregnant already, as my boobs had been quite tender. But I did my first pregnancy test on October 19^th and it showed up as negative. I was feeling ridiculously bloated all the time, but I had eaten a lot more carbohydrates than usual when I was away, so thought that might have been the cause of it. I had been trying to eat a lot healthier since returning from our holiday, which caused me even more confusion around why I was so bloated. I was also feeling a bit ‘off’ in the mornings and started skipping breakfast (intermittent fasting) and waiting to eat at lunchtime as I usually felt better by then. All these signs (pointing to me being pregnant) were dismissed by the doctor and I was told that I just had a virus and I should stay home, rest and keep hydrated.

The doctor, however, did give me a blood slip to have completed in a few weeks’ time once my virus had cleared up. He wanted to test a few things for me for ‘pre-conception’ just to check everything was ok since coming off the pill. So off I went to get those blood tests done – it was now nearing towards the end of November. On the 27^th of November I was at work and during my lunch break I noticed I had missed a phone call from the doctor. When I called back, he was busy, so the receptionist let me know that the doctor wanted me to go and get a pelvic ultrasound. She couldn’t tell me why I needed the ultrasound or what my results were from the blood test and I was getting frustrated with her and frankly, quite worried. Why on earth would I need a pelvic ultrasound? Was something wrong with me? Why can’t the doctor tell me what is going on?

I was getting quite anxious about what all this meant and asked for the doctor to call me back himself as soon as he was able to. I was very relieved when he did call back later that same afternoon to explain that he had received my test results. They showed that I had elevated levels of estrogen and that is the reason why he wanted me to go for a pelvic ultrasound. It would check my ovary function as he was slightly concerned about me not having a period yet after now being off the pill for four months now. Although he was giving me more detailed information than the receptionist did earlier that day, he still did not explain anything to me about what caused my high estrogen levels in the first place or what the ultrasound results could show. Overall, my experience today was terrible. It was unclear information initially, which made me panic about what was in store for me. Then to make matters worse I decided to Google “what causes high estrogen levels?”. BIG MISTAKE! Never, ever, Google these things – I instantly regretted it. The first thing that came up in the search was Cancer. Perfect. Just what I wanted to read – NOT. The only half decent thing to come from my Google search was that it explained why I had tender boobs – apparently that was a symptom of high estrogen levels. Needless to say, I was quite nervous waiting to get in for the pelvic ultrasound the following week. I remember talking to my best friend, Kristy, about it. She had messaged me asking if I had my ultrasound the following day. My exact reply was, “Yep ☹ I’m freaking out a little bit… I’m just sick of guessing what could be wrong and worrying about all the possibilities. Hope it doesn’t take too long to find out.”

I clearly remember driving alone to the ultrasound appointment that day. It was only a ten-minute drive, but I spent the entire drive thinking to myself, “I could have cancer”. I was so anxious about the appointment and that feeling didn’t go away, even when the ultrasound started.

The technician started doing the ultrasound and got me to move around quite a lot so she could check all my organs really well. I started on my back then turned onto my sides and I remember feeling a little uncomfortable, anxious & needing to go to the bathroom. She then started asking me questions like, “Do you have a partner?” and “Are you in a long-term relationship?”. I thought she was asking some odd personal questions and at some point during these questions, I must have mentioned that we were trying to have a baby. I saw the technician relax a little, before saying “We don’t usually tell the patient this information… Usually we call the doctor with the results and they pass it on to you. However, I can see that you’re worried about the results and I want to ease your mind by letting you know that you are pregnant!”